‘ Children and pets can’t pick their parents or their owners…’

‘ Children and pets can’t pick their parents or their owners…’

Judge Thorne laments some kids’ lot in life


A man’s name in jail was called on a felony charge. A woman came forward in the court room.

“Who are you to this man?” asked Judge Fred Thorne.

“I am his counselor.”

“Well, first of all I can’t believe you came in front of me in those torn up pants. It seems you are asking me to help you and maybe mitigate punishment. If you can’t show me some respect for at least 10 minutes and act real nice how can you expect respect out of me?”

The man’s mother and father came forward and were told what to do about his charges.

A woman in jail was charged with possession of marijuana and failure to appear. She pled not guilty on the marijuana charge and no contest on the failure to appear.

“Why didn’t you come to court?”

“I got the dates confused.”

“$250 plus court costs and I’ll see you on your trial date.”

A man in jail was asked, “Are you called Jeremiah or Joseph? We have both names down here.”


“I thought I was going to have to fine you double.”

A man in jail was charged with disorderly conduct and fleeing. He pled no contest to both charges.

“Why did you run from the police?”

“I didn’t run. I just turned my back on him and got attacked.”

“Where do you work?”

“Fireworks City.”

“Were you working out of your back yard? This says you were at home.”

“It is right there by those houses.”

“I know the owner. What is his name and phone number?”

“Bobby, but I don’t know his number.”

“The home owner said he was sleeping and heard a noise and you were on his porch. Do you want a trial or a fine?”


“$250 plus court costs.”

Another man was called.

“You appealed my sentence. Your appeal was remanded. Now you have a fine of $990 and 20 days jail.”

“Do I get credit for the days I served?”

“The jail will figure that out for you.”

A man in the courtroom was charged with no insurance.

“Are you in school?”

“Yes. The Academies of West Memphis.”

“The car was insured but you weren’t on the policy.


A woman was asked, “How old are you?”


“How do you plead to no driver’s license?”


“Careless driving?”

“No contest.”

“No insurance?”


“Whose car were you driving?”

“Her dad,” said her mother standing beside her. “He was drinking and went to jail. He asked her to drive him.”

“Is he in jail now?”

“He got out.”

“Did you have a wreck?”

“Yes, sir,” said the young woman.

“Some poor soul out there, minding their own busi-

Judge Fred Thorne ness, now has to fix their car because your daddy had no insurance and let you drive. I tell everyone, children and pets can’t pick their parents or their owners. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. Sit down. I’ll get back to you.”

A woman charged with careless diving pled guilty.

“Did you have insurance?” “Yes. A truck in front of me turned and he didn’t use a signal and I swerved and hit him.”

“When have you last been to the eye doctor?”

“I can see.”

“$195 or get a report from the eye doctor saying you are good to drive and bring in to me on April 7th.

Which do you want?”

“I’ll go to the doctor.”

A man who was to have removed the tint on his car window was in the court.

“Did you take the tint off?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Is the car here?”


“Bailiff, go out with him and look at the car.”

In a few minutes the bailiff came back in and said the car was good.

“I’ll dismiss it. You are good to go. Tell the rest of your family I’ll be looking for them.”

A man charged with driving on suspended, no insurance and no headlight pled guilty to all charges.

“Do you work?”


“Do you have insurance now?”

“No, sir.”

“Why was your license suspended?”

“A failure to appear in Memphis.”

“$395 plus court costs and two days house arrest on the driving on suspended.

$395 plus court costs on the insurance. I’ll dismiss the headlight.”

“I already paid $1,100.”

“Good. You may get some money back.”

“What about what I already paid?”

“You weren’t listening. I said you ‘may’ get some money back.”

A man charged with speeding and driving on suspended pled guilty. To his charge of no insurance he pled no contest.

“Have you had any other charges?”

“This is my first one.”

“What about the two charges before in Marion and one in Memphis? You also had a no insurance charge last year.”

“I meant in West Memphis.”

“$65 plus court costs and driver’s school on the speeding. $295 plus court costs on the driving on suspended and two days house arrest. $195 plus court costs on the insurance.”

A woman pled no contest to failure to yield.

“Did you have insurance?”


“I have the report from my eye doctor you told me to get.”

“She is 20/20 with her glasses,” said the bailiff.


A man charged with following too close and failure to appear pled no contest.

“Why didn’t you come to my court?”

“I was at work.”

“You know me. I don’t like it when you don’t come to court. Where do you work?”

“North Little Rock. I come here to see my mother.”

“$100 plus court costs on the failure to appear. $45 plus court costs and driver’s school on the following too close. Do you want to go to driver’s school. It isn’t my insurance that will be raised.”

“Ugh, yeah, I’ll go.”

A young man and his father came forward.

“How old are you?”


“How do you plead to failure

to yield?” “No contest.”

“Father this is up to you.

Pay $75 plus court costs and go to driver’s school or six hours community service at the animal shelter?”

“The community service.” said the father.

After a few more cases were heard the young man

came back in front of Judge


“Sir, I am highly allergic to cats and dogs.”

“You can do your community service here,” said the judge.

By the Evening Times News Staff