What the tofurky is going on here?

Well Ralph, it seems this state’s new food labeling law, which by the way isn’t currently being enforced due to pending litigation, has apparently ruffled the feathers of at least one plant-based food producer that caters to vegans and vegetarians.

I assume you know the difference between these kinds of people don’t you, Ralph? Let me explain for our readers. Vegans eat no animal products, while vegetarians don’t eat animals, but may eat products that come from them such as dairy and eggs.

No, I don’t quite understand their thinking but give me a juicy ribeye any day, and don’t try and feed me this ridiculous propaganda that chopped up weeds, flowers and whatever else can taste just like beef, chicken, pig or any other animal the dear Lord put on this earth for human consumption.

And, I have to say in the world of nutrition, there’s no debate as fiery and fierce as the one between meat eaters and vegetarians. Don’t misunderstand I love a helping of good ole’ purple hull peas or a bunch of steamed broccoli as much as a vegetarian does but come on, Ralph, ya just got to have that hunk of meat to go along with the veggies.

And that brings me to my sarcasm as it relates to this Oregon plant-based food manufacturer who has is panties in a wad over this new food labeling law.

Seems this fella by the name of Jaime Athos, president of Tofurky, takes issue with the new legislation, the purpose of which is aimed at protecting consumers from being misled or confused by false or misleading labeling of agricultural products that are edible by humans.

Now Athos says “plant-based meats” are typically made from soy, tempeh, wheat, jackfruit, textured vegetable protein or other vegan ingredients. He says he uses terms like “chorizo,” “ham roast” and “hot dogs” alongside qualifiers like “all vegan,” “plant base,” “vegetarian” and “veggie,” to show that his company’s products can be served and consumed “just like any other meats.”

Come on Ralph, let’s call it like it is and admit that it is either “meat” or “vegetable” products. It can’t be both so let’s stop the deceptive advertising. It is either a stalk of wheat or it is a cow — can’t be both.

I see now where even Burger King is getting in on the act by trying to convince their customers that their “meatless” “Whopper” tastes just like beef. Even KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) is getting in on the act by putting out their fake chicken nuggets thinking customers will think they taste just like chicken. Well Ralph, doesn’t everything wierd taste like chicken?

If I were Wendy’s, I’d resurrect the old lady who was famous for saying, “Where’s the beef?”

I’ve always been told, Ralph, that imitation is the best form of flattery and it is clear to me that if someone has to disguise their products as “meat” something just ain’t right, Ralph.

You know what I think, Ralph. This guy, Athos, is afraid that if he can’t use the words “ham roast”, “hot dogs” or “Original Sausage Kielbsa” he’ll lose his veggie-based customers, or worse yet see other states impose similar labeling laws.

I guess we’ll just have to wait around and see how this lawsuit goes won’t we? Meanwhile, I sticking with my chicken sandwich, juicy pure beef hot dogs, my slab of bacon, a good ole’ slice of ham or my favorite “Prime” grade 16-ounce ribeye steak.