‘You can’t save the world, young ladies’

Judge Thorne has some life lessons for the courtroom audience

By Coretta Allen The docket was full in Judge Fred Thorne’s courtroom Monday morning, with many inmates being sent to talk to the public defender, leading to a lengthy intermission.

“We’ve got about 80,000 that need to see the public defender,” said the judge.

• “Some ‘Ol’ Skool’ Wisdom” Judge Thorne used that time to lecture the audience.

He talked about how important it is to be punctual when coming to court. He told the young ladies how important it is to be a wife instead of a baby mama, girlfriend or fiancee.

“If he dies,” said the judge, “you won’t have any benefits. That’s why I’m ‘Ol’ Skool.’” “You women work two jobs, have a house full of kids and everything to make him comfortable,” said Judge Thorne. “You’re with him because he’s cute. Back in my day, a man had to have a job and a car. But again…

I’m Ol’ Skool. All men have to do these days is breathe.

You can’t save the world, young ladies.”

• “Statute of Liberty?”

The first man in front of Judge Thorne was charged with public intoxication. The judge looked at the paperwork wrong and asked the man if he was posing as a statue, confusing “statue” with “statute.” The man was fined $350 plus court costs.

• “Mary Jane” A young woman was in jail for drug possession while hanging with her “homeboy.” “Somebody will have to claim the marijuana,” said Judge Thorne. “And he’s bailed out and gone back to Little Rock, and you’re still here in jail.”

“It’s crazy,” said the young lady.

“No, you’re crazy,” said the judge. “$250 plus court costs, and one year suspended if you complete the treatment program at Harbor House. Be back here in one month for a review.

• “No Comprende!”

A 15-year-old Hispanic young lady was charged with no driver’s license, no proof of insurance and reckless driving after hitting another vehicle.

Her mother told the judge that she didn’t speak English, but had been in West Memphis for 21 years.

“Now, if I had lived in Mexico for 21 years, I’d be speaking Spanish,” Judge Thorne told her, and expressed his displeasure.

The woman suddenly began to speak English, after which the judge handed down a $400 fine plus court costs.

“Be honest with me and you will have a better shot,” the judge told the courtroom.

• “The Prodigal Son” One man charged with driving on a suspended license, when asked for his license had handed over his passport, drawing a room full of laughter in the court.

When asked where he was from, the man told the judge, “West Memphis.”

“I would have thought you were from a foreign country,” Judge Thorne said. The pair shared a laugh before Judge Thorne handed down his sentence.

• “Be All That You Can Be” The last man on the docket came up to answer to charges of no driver’s license, no proof of insurance, and expired tags. “The DMV said I never had a license and that I have to take the test all over again,” the man said.

“When was the last time you had a license?” asked the judge.

“In 1978, when I was in the Army,” replied the man.

The crowd again enjoyed a good laugh.

“My son didn’t pay my insurance, so I won’t send it by him anymore,” he said.

He left with more than $400 is fines and court costs.