[ Editor’s Note: All my advice here fits into one word: Selfish.

I get it, we’re past the point in this pandemic where it’s useful or sensible to judge each other’s behavior. But still, what do I do about the friends who say things like, “I’m worried we’re going to go back into lockdown,” when those exact same friends never went into lockdown in the first place? I basically didn’t leave my house for over a year while people I’m close to were only restricted by the closures of favorite restaurants, yet they behave now like it’s terrible news that we might have to go “back” to staying home. Do you have a good response to convey I’m not sympathetic and maybe remind them we’re all in this together and must do whatever is necessary?

People who indulge in fretting that is arguably disingenuous or self- aggrandizing are not the problem here and so giving them even justified, poetically executed side- eye is not going to solve anything.

People who can be vaccinated but haven’t yet been vaccinated need to get vaccinated. That is a solution.

People who refuse to mask up because they have bought the idea it’s a political issue vs. a scientific one need to mask up where advised. That is a solution.

People who want civilization to continue and are even superficially embracing public- health measures to prevent the spread of COVID- 19 need to be kind to each other, to the point of indulgence. That is a solution, because it’s a crucial element of being “ in this together” — choosing not to finger- point others into seeking refuge in the closest cultural- purity bunker just because it feels better than being shamed.

As for responding to remarks about lockdowns: The resurgent possibility of them is terrible news for everybody, so sympathize with your friends. “ Yes, that would be devastating — I wonder what we as individuals can do to prevent that.” Having to shut things down again to prevent lethal infections is the blunt instrument — killing businesses because it’s our only means left to stop killing people — that we collectively, make necessary only when we politicize the much more refined and effective ones. Please let’s just focus on that and get past this pandemic]