The Wobbly Knob

VIEWPOINT

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor

I know that sounds like the name of an English pub or something but no, it’s one of the many things that stayed on my “todo” list for way too long.

We’ve been in our new house for nearly five years now, and when I say new house, I mean new to us. It’s actually 50 years old. And like with any 50-year-old house, it’s got its charms but its also got its flaws.

One of the first things I noticed was that the doorknob on the front door was a little wobbly. I mean, it still functioned. It still turned and locked and secured the door, but it just was a little loose… like it would jiggle in your hand a little when you gripped it. Not a lot, but enough that you would notice every time you went to open the door.

No big deal, really. I mean, you spend a total of about three seconds opening a door, walking through it, and closing it again. Even if you do that five times a day, we’re talking about 15 seconds of your whole day here.

But still, it slowly became an annoyance, particularly when I’d have to make multiple trips in and out, say to bring in the groceries or something. It also got to be one of those things my

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lovely wife would remind me of in her subtle way, like exaggeratedly jiggling the door knob while staring at me.

So, I eventually decided to give the knob a look. It turned out that the screws that secured the knob to the door itself were loose and the notches for the screwdriver wer stripped. I grabbed my trusty Phillips head and quickly figured out the problem… the angle of the screws was such that you can’t really get a straight-on shot at the screws, and I guess the previous owner just used blunt force to get the screws as “in” as he could and then said “good enough.”

And maybe it was for a while but now the screws had come loose. I actually managed to find a funkly little Allen wrench that had a Phillips head on on end left over from a random “someassembly- required” project of days gone by (never throw anything away) and maneuvered it into the little screw slots and tightened them. Presto! No more loose knob. Problem solved!

Of course, there’s always the next thing on the list. The HR lady at one of my old jobs had a little placcard on her wall that said, “I believe the Good Lord has put me on this Earth to perform a certain number of tasks. Unfortunately, I am so far behind, I may never die.”

I know there’s an old adage about taking care of the little things before they become big things, and that’s pretty solid advice. But I’m also a big proponent of “all you gotta do is…” like toilet won’t stop running? “All you gotta do is jiggle the handle a little.” Or Stove burner won’t light? “All you gotta do is use a match to light it!” or Batteries getting low on the remote?

“Take the back off and roll the batteries around a little.” Again, my wife starts with the sublte encouragement… Life is like that. The next thing that needs to be done is always right around the corner… or in my case, right there next to the window where the new blinds I bought three months ago still need to be hung.

So, I guess I’d better get on that…