Giving it away

VIEWPOINT

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor

I’m not a hoarder. I swear I’m not. I’m just very cautious about what I get rid of. Not because it’s precious ro me or even of great value.

If I’m a hoarder of any kind, I’m a hoarder of convenience (is that a thing? Because if not, I’m making it a thing).

For example, I’ve got an old Amazon box in my shed that is full of cords. There are old laptop cords, old phone chargers, those screw-in coaxial cables that used to connect the VCR or DVD player to the TV, ethernet cables and AC adapters of multiple widths and lengths.

Why? On the off chance that something I own needs one of them. Like, phone chargers also charge everything from electric razors to candle warmers to video game controllers. Laptop cords (at least in my house) go missing, get worn out or even chewed up by the dog. I actually had an old lamp that I fixed by taking a cord out of the magic box and rewiring it.

So, yeah, I’v e got scrap wood, old bookshelves, a stack of old pillows and blankets… I actually got some use out of two old window unit air condiitoners last week when our old central air unit finally gave up the ghost, so don’t come at me with “just

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throw it away,” because you never know. My daughter appreciates this approach every time “Spirit Week” rolls around at school and she needs something “80’s looking” for Decades Day and I’ve still got my Guns N’ Roses shirt and ripped-up jeans from high school.

Now, having said that, my being a “hoarder of convenience” also makes me a “thrower awayer of inconvenience,” and I will get rid of nuissance items in a heartbeat. Take, for example, this giant wooden armoire that my wife bought three years ago with big plans. This 7-foot-tall, 4foot wide oak behemoth sat in our dining room for months.

It had been, God knows why, painted bright yellow by the previous owner, so it just sat there “glowing” at me before I finally got tired of it and found a corner in our largely unused spare room to shove it into (and I literally mean “shove” because it’s too heavy to lift, even with an assistant).

My wife and daughter thought it would look just fabulous in my daughter’s bedroom — which is upstairs. I laughed and told them the combined might of Hulk Hogan and Captain American couldn’t navigate that thing up the stairs and laughed even more as I watched my daughter and her boyfriend try (yes, I eventually tried to pitch in but it was, as I knew, a logistic impossibility).

So there in the corner of shame it sat. It did come in handy last year as a hiding place for Christmas presents waiting to be wrapped and put

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under the Christmas tree but it otherwise just took up space.

Finally, just a few weeks ago, my son’s wife had a baby. My own wife decided that the spare bedroom would be better served as a nursery/playroom for my new grandson and any other future grandchildren. I agreed, but noted that the big yellow armoire took up too much room. Amazingly, she agreed.

So, finally, I was able torid myself of this thing. I got my daughter to help shuffle-walk it out to the curb and put in on Facebook, free for the first person who could manage to get it into their truck or trailer.

It sat out on the curb for three days before someone (I didn’t see who) finally hauled it away, out of my life forever.

And you know what? It lit a bit of a fire under me for thorowing stuff out.

I’ve got a treadmill, a rowing machine, a fish tank, a TV and who knows what else to dispose of. So, if you’re on Facebook and like a bargain keep your eyes peeled.

But no, not my comic book collection.

My grandson might want those…