The Forgotten

T hey are all around us.

They sit next to us. They stand in front or behind us as we wait to check out at the grocery store. Seldom are they seen working in their yard. In these disconcerting times they are the forgotten.

I am burdened by the hundreds upon thousands who have little or no quality human interaction with others.

I recently read a study report from Cigna Health Insurance entitled, “Loneliness and The Workplace – 2020 Report.” It was a study of over 10,000 people living in the United States aged 18 and older. It is an eye-opening report.

It is such an alarming report that Douglas Nemecek, M.D., MBA, Chief Medical of Behavioral Health, Cigna, wrote an introduction to the report, “As a country, we’re seeing the epidemic of loneliness intensify. Today, three in five Americans (61 percent) classify as lonely, according to results from our latest research based on the responses of more than 10,400 adults in the U.S.”

What is more, according to the study, the higher the use of technology one uses, the greater chances the person will feel lonely.

When I served as a pastor, I often referred to a group of people I affectionately termed “the crusty old people.” “Crusty” because they have “their way” of doing things and are perfectly content in “their ways.” “Old” as determined by the individual. Being a “crusty old person” is sometimes based on age, but more often it is based on one’s ability to relate to current events, the new technology that is constantly changing and the ability to interact with younger people.

Widows are forgotten – typically they have raised a family, still live in their home, do as much in and around their home as their bodies will allow. For other maintenance needs, she relies on the kindness of family, maybe a friend or pay for the needed work. Seldom do widows “call” anyone for help as they do not want to be a burden on others. If you know a widow who needs help, do not tell her to “call if you need anything” she will seldom call even though she is in great need. Just do what needs to be done.

Those with limiting or debilitating physical and health issues are sometimes forgotten. They need a little extra attention and sometimes require special medical attention. Do you have someone in your life with physical issues that may have become forgotten?

Another group of people that feel lonely are our caretakers – the CNA’s, Medical Assistants and others who do the menial but much needed care giving. Those who take care of others are lonely and most often have greater health needs surpassing the needs of the ones they care for. If you know a caretaker, please, do a little extra for him or her.

Working in a medical clinic, I noticed that when I ask an elder patient questions, it is almost always the person who brought them to the clinic that answer the questions. Let the patient have a minute or two to give the answer, if something is missed, then offer a brief, clarifying comment.

I had to visit a dermatologist a few years ago and my wife and adult daughter were with me (mostly to make sure I kept the appointment). I was filling out the paperwork and my daughter said to me, “Dad, let me fill the paperwork out.” My daughter took the clipboard from me to finish my registration. My daughter and I worked together in a medical clinic and paperwork was her specialty so when she took the paperwork to expedite the process it did not bother me except, I had a brief glimpse into what is coming to me in later years.

Perhaps you have been forgotten, if so, let me share just a few simple but powerful words for you to be encouraged and to overcome your loneliness.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Giving thanks to God for all you have and all you are, I believe is the first step to overcome loneliness.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39).

Overcoming loneliness requires one to get involved. Involved in church, serving others, doing for others who are unable to do anything in return for you.

Jesus taught His disciples and followers to serve others. If you no longer want to be “forgotten” find ways to serve others.

Clayton Adams has a message of faith he would like to share with the community. He would also like to hear from you. E-mail clayton padamsiii@gmail.com.

Clayton Adams