Putting the ‘May’ in ‘Mayhem’

VIEWPOINT

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor I n case you’ve not been given any subtle or not-sosubtle reminders, let me give you a heads up that this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day.

Now historically, I’m pretty hit or miss on Mother’s Day. Sometimes, I come through like a champ, but other years, I’ve admittedly phoned it in … sometimes literally. This applies not only to my own mother, but to my lovely wife. And no, no matter how many times I explain to her “You’re not MY mother,” she still seems to put all the expectations on me, rather than our children.

But here we are, back around the Sun one more time and the return of “May Mayhem” to my life.

“May Mayhem?” you ask. Well, you see the month of May is a crazy busy time in our family. It all actually starts tomorrow. You see, May 6th is my wife’s birthday, and its arrival each year signals the beginning of a series of holidays and special observances for the month. I mentioned Mother’s Day, which for me means not only my own mother and my wife, but also my wife’s mother. Adding to that May 10th is actually my Dad’s birthday.

This happens on a somewhat smaller scale in February, when my wedding anniversary arrives on February 13th (it sometimes falls on Friday the 13th), which is of course the day before Valentine’s Day. I have two sons, both born in February (17th and 26th), and back when birthdays were a big deal in their kidhood years, that was also a pretty busy month. My sons both got married in June last year, one on the 13th, so I’ll be passing that little phenomenon down to another generation. Father’s Day is also in June and his wife’s birthday is in June. Good luck with June Mayhem, son!

But anyway, Mother’s Day/Dad’s Birthday will be this Sunday and Monday. That would be enough but like salesman extraordinaire Billy Mays used to say, “But wait! There’s more!” This week, it’s actually a five-day marathon of happenings! You see, I mentioned my wife’s birthday on Thursday. Well, on Friday, my youngest son will be graduating from college, so Friday morning, we’re all heading west to Arkadelphia for that graduation ceremony. And no, we don’t get to come home after, because we’ll be pivoting north from there and heading to Fayetteville, to watch our oldest son graduate from law school. Then and only then do we get back to the Mother’s Day and Dad’s birthday schedule.

And hold on to your hats, folks. And then, a week later, it’s time for more fun. On Saturday, my wife’s cousin is getting married, and it’s shaping up to be quite the shindig. And my daughter’s birthday on May 17th. And this year “baby” girl is turning 15, which is cool … except that she absolutely can not wait to take her driver’s test and get her learner’s permit. I am not cool with the idea of her driving. One, because it means she’s growing up and, two, because it means adding a teenage driver to my insurance.

I’m getting a little bit of a break this year because normally, we’d have a big Memorial Day weekend family reunion, but thanks to this pandemic, it’s not happening this year, which is fine, actually. As much as I enjoy it, there’s enough going on in my life that I could use a weekend off.

But yes, it’s Mother’s Day this Sunday. Remember last year, with restaurants either closed or operating at a fraction of their capacity? This year, that’s not a problem. And visiting Mom, basically illegal in 2020, because seniors were one of the biggest at-risk groups for COVID-19, is back on the table. If you’re trying to come up with gift ideas, one that’s completely free of charge that is often listed near the top when mothers are asked what they want for Mother’s Day, is just go to church with your Mom. This is especially meaningful if she’s a regular churchgoer and you’re not. Yes, a nice lunch or flowers are always welcome but a meaningful gift like going to church with her can mean more than anything you can put a price tag on.

And here, also for absolutely no charge, is my Mother’s Day gift idea for you. I’ve mentioned it before, but you remember those finger-paint handprints we used to make in kindergarten? The ones with the little poems? Make one for your Mom. No, I don’t care how old you are. Do it. My sister and I both did one for my mother about 10 years ago and they are hanging up in her hallway. Remember, it’s all about memories not money.

Happy Mother’s Day!