CARRIE CLASSON.)

appears to be of even less use. It is true, when I had a dog, he never took a shower. Was he supposed to, I wonder? Would someone ever ask me this, in Mexico or anywhere else? Under what circumstances would someone ask, “Say, how often does your dog shower?”

“Oh,” I'd confidently reply, “My dog never takes a shower!”

Again, I'm coming up with very few instances when this phrase would have much practical value.

When I get an answer correct in Duolingo, a little animated animal jumps for joy. While I would like to say that I find this ridiculous and unnecessary, I would be lying. Making that little owl do a somersault is deeply satisfying.

I don't honestly know if this is the best way to learn Spanish or not. There are a lot of programs out there.

But most of them do not involve animated animals celebrating every time I get an answer correct and I might need that kind of encouragement if I'm ever going to get any better.

These little animals seem to know I'm not the brightest Spanish student they've ever had, but they are patient. If I can correctly tell them about my dirty dog or my love of hot sandwiches, they are over the moon.

When I finish a lesson, a horn sounds, as if this is a grand accomplishment. I know it's not. The overexcited owl knows it's not.

But learning just a little bit of Spanish every day feels as if I am accomplishing something, so, what the heck. Let's celebrate with a hot sandwich.

Carrie Classon is a writer and performer. She is the author of “ I’ve Been Waiting All My Life to be Middle Aged” and a syndicated columnist. Her memoir, “ Blue Yarn,” was released in 2019.

Learn more at Carrie Classon. com.