GOLDEN

From page A4

the situation. In Jane’s example, the same scenario reoccurs. Perhaps Jane takes her problems with her to each new job. Jane needs to assess her interpersonal communication skills, as well as her job performance, before once again jumping ship.

Over the last 20 years, Steven and his family moved five times. Sometimes they stayed in the same area, other times they moved to a new town or state. Wherever Steven went, he had the same problems. The neighbors were annoying, their house always had problems, there was too much traffic, and people were rude.

Was it possible for Steven to have such bad luck? Or was there some component of Steven’s nature that always found fault with whatever situation he was in? Since Steven has found himself in the same scenario for two decades, chances are he has been taking his problems with him. Unless Steven identifies and corrects the elements of his personality responsible for his dissatisfaction, it won’t matter where or how often he moves.

Ed has trouble staying in a relationship. When he meets someone new, things are great in the beginning. Then the problems develop. Ed gets impatient with his partner. He is very independent and doesn’t want to adjust his lifestyle to accommodate another person. Ed has little desire to consider the needs of the person he is with.

When each relationship invariably ends, Ed is relieved and starts looking for someone else with whom he will be truly compatible. The problem is Ed’s attitude is incompatible with being in a successful relationship. Ed doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. Therefore, he is destined to experience the same problems in every relationship. Should he happen to meet someone who feels the same way he does, the relationship will end even faster since neither one of them will be willing to be considerate of the other.

Don’t try to outrun your problems.

Objectively analyze why your problems occur. Often it can be helpful to seek input from an objective party who can give you constructive feedback. You can change your behavior and attitude to prevent the same problems from repeating themselves.

Now available: “ Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www. Bryan-Golden. com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E- mail Bryan at bryan@ columnist. com.