Not in front of the children

VIEWPOINT

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor T here was a book that came out many years ago titled “Not in Front of the Children,” with the very heavy-handed subtitle “Indecency, Censorship, and the Innocence of Youth.”

The author, attorney and civil libertarian Marjorie Heins, did not coin the phrase. It has been in use for decades as a warning to keep “adult” issues away from the eyes and ears of innocent youngsters. Don’t smoke, drink, swear, fight, etc. in front of the kids, lest they pick up bad habits, learn harmful behavior or be exposed to the ugly things of this world.

Heins’ book was about freedom of speech and the relationship between censorship and the “think of the children” argument. The book covers everything from “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” by D. H. Lawrence to the Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television” monologue by comedian George Carlin to the advent of warning labels on CDs, DVDs and video games.

There was also a British TV show called “Not in Front of the Children” back in the early 1970s. It was a sitcom that sort of poked fun at the “ideal” family unit of the time. All the things that the “squares” told us not to do was “cool” now, according to the counterculture movement of the time.

It makes a lot of sense to be wary of what our children see. It certainly makes more sense than “Do as I say, not as I do.” It’s not just smoking and drinking and cussing either. Over the years, we’ve seen campaigns against violence in video games, pornography, satanic messages in music … just all sorts of things that some say adolescents are negatively impacted by exposure to – media deemed inappropriate by adults. I get it.

But here’s the truth: Nothing that our kids can see or hear in the movies, in their video games, on the radio or on the internet can come close to comparing with the harsh realities of what living in the real word brings.

Just look at the news these days. The violence we need to worry about isn’t what John Wick is doing to the bad guys who killed his dog. It’s not the whooping that The Rock is dishing out in the wrestling ring. It’s not how creative your kids are at killing Nazi zombies in the latest “Call of Duty” game. Give the children a little credit. They know these are works of fiction. They know the violence is simulated. I listened to a lot of Motley Crue and Ozzy Osbourne back in the day and I never worshiped Satan once … not even a little.

But you know what is real? The wars in Ukraine and Israel. The mass shootings we see so often that it’s almost not even news anymore. We see homeless people, mentally ill people, poor people – all at the end of their ropes. We can try to shield our children from the terrible things in the world but if we do, we are not preparing them for the world they will one day be expected to take over and lead.

Now, I’m not saying we tape their eyes open and set them in front of a bunch of screens depicting sex and drugs and violence like the guy in “A Clockwork Orange” or anything, but we do need them to know what the world around them is like.

Because the very idea of “Not in Front of the Children” is simply unattainable. Our children are going to be exposed to things like vaping or sexting or online bullying, long before they (or you) might think. They are also going to see the ugly side of the world in ways that you can’t even imagine.

Recently, there was a fatal shooting right here in West Memphis right outside one of the local elementary schools, right at the end of the day. A man was shot and killed right in front of a bunch of folks, including children. Now, I hope your children weren’t among those children. I hope your children never have to witness that kind of violence, but it’s definitely worth knowing that they might be, no matter what steps you take to hide it from them.

Not that long ago, there was a shooting in Memphis you might remember where a woman was shot and killed in front of her daughter by a person who was driving around and randomly shooting people. There’s evil and then there’s “shooting someone in front of their kid” evil.

Our society has a lot of things wrong with it … petty political fighting, social inequality, poverty, a breakdown in civil communication, high prices, low wages, government overreach, lack of access to food and medical care. These are all things we need to address. Because it’s all playing out in real time. And where is it playing out?

In front of the children …