The Brad Pitt Theory of Relativity

VIEWPOINT

By RALPH HARDIN

Evening Times Editor

Actor Billy Bob Thornton, an Arkansas native, once said in an interview that he was told he would never make it in Hollywood because he wasn’t “good-looking enough to be a leading man and not ugly enough to be a character actor.”

Old Billy Bob seems to have made it work, though.

So, real quick-like… name a good-looking man. I might have spoiled it a little with the title of this column but for the past 30 years or so, Brad Pitt has been my go-to answer to that question. Depending on your age and your particular definition of “good-looking,” you might have said Paul Newman or Robert Redford or Denzel Washington or George Clooney or… Robert Pattinson? I don’t know who the new hotness is these days.

But Brad Pitt has been my go-to “picture next to the definition in the dictionary” guy. Because it’s simply pretty much universally understood that the guy fits the description.

So, I’m fully aware that I’m no Brad Pitt. I’ve always contended that while I’m no movie star matinee idol, my face also

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doesn’t scare small children, so I get by. And since my wife and I started dating back in 1992, I haven’t really had to worry about such things.

But back when that sort of thing was more on my mind, I developed this idea that you didn’t have to necessarily be Brad Pitt. You just needed to be relatively Brad Pitt-ish.

I remember my first job, working at a local grocery store. I wasn’t the most handsome 16-year-old, but I was the Brad Pitt of the roster of grocery sackers there. I have definitely been places where I was decidedly not the Brad Pitt of (this place), but I could always at least be Brad Pitt’s buddy. I’m not saying you should surround yourself with ugly people to look more attractive (but I’m not saying it’s not worth a try). I’m just saying there are only a few Brad Pitts out there and a lot more Steve Buscemi types, so maybe being a Billy Bob Thornton isn’t so bad.

And really, you can apply this theory of relativity to just about anything. Maybe you’re not Eddie Van Halen, but your church could use a guitat player? Maybe you’re not Mother Teresa, working with lepers and orphans, but CASA or Families in Transition could use some volunteers.

Maybe you’re not Bill Gates but a $20 donation to a local charity could go a long way.

You don’t have to be rich or famous to be a positive force in the community. You could be the Mother Teresa of West Memphis.

You don’t have to be Brad Pitt to be happy and you don’t have to be rich or famous to to good things in life.